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Customers Cook Up Trouble With Fake Penis

26 Feb 06 16:45:38 GMT

Customers Cook Up Trouble With Fake Penis

Customers Cook Up Trouble With Fake Penis

By JOE MANDAK (Associated Press Writer) From Associated Press February 24, 2006 8:01 PM EST

PITTSBURGH - A woman who claimed she was trying to cheat on a drug test was behind a bizarre incident in which a frightened convenience store clerk thought she had microwaved a severed penis, police said.

The clerk at the store outside Pittsburgh actually microwaved a prosthetic device used to cheat on drug tests, police said Friday.

The incident unfolded late Thursday afternoon when a man and a woman entered the store and the man asked the clerk, "Can you microwave something for me? It's a life-or-death situation," according to an account the woman later gave police.

The man asked for paper towels, wrapped an object in them, and had the clerk microwave the item for 20 seconds, said McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero.

When it was finished, the clerk handed the item back to the man and saw what she thought was a severed penis, Pero said.

After news reports Friday, a woman called police to say she was with the man in the store and gave her account of what happened, Pero said.

The woman told police she was applying for a job and was required to take a drug test. She said the man had filled the device with his urine, which she planned to submit for the test, Pero said.

According to the woman, the couple stopped to warm the device in the microwave so the urine would "pass the body temperature test," Pero said - that is, be warm enough to not arouse the suspicion of those administering the test.

Pero said police weren't sure why the woman was storing the urine in a device mimicking male genitalia.

The woman wasn't applying for a job at the convenience store, but Pero said he didn't know anything else about the job.

The chief said the woman planned to come to the police station for an interview. Police Friday night said they had no new information and said the chief would have to answer any further questions on Monday.

Pero wouldn't release the names of the man or woman. Charges, including harassment and disorderly conduct, were possible, he said.

The clerk at the Giant Eagle Get Go! is "still visibly shaking," Pero said.

Giant Eagle, which owns the convenience store, said the microwave will be discarded

On the menu today: horse penis and testicles with a chilli dip

26 Feb 06 06:32:57 GMT

On the menu today: horse penis and testicles with a chilli dip

The menu at Beijing's latest venue for its growing army of gourmets is eye-watering rather than mouth-watering.

China's cuisine is renowned for being "in your face" - from the skinned dogs displayed at food markets to the kebabbed scorpions sold on street stalls - and there is no polite way of describing Guo-li-zhuang.

A dish combining the male organs of an ox and a snake Situated in an elegantly restored house beside Beijing's West Lake, it is China's first speciality penis restaurant.

Here, businessmen and government officials can sample the organs of yaks, donkeys, oxen and even seals. In fact, they have to, since they form part of every dish - except for those containing testicles.

"This is my third visit," said one customer, Liu Qiang. "Of course, there are other restaurants that serve the bian of individual animals. But this is the first that brings them all together."

Guolizhuang's owner, who set it up in November, is proud to combine his own surname (Guo), his wife's (Li) and his son's nickname (Zhuang) into its title.

A booking comes with a trained waitress and a nutritionist in attendance, to explain the menu and to boast its medicinal virtues.

Dog's penis, garnished with a plum In China, you are what you eat, and The Daily Telegraph's nutritionist, Zhu Yan, said the clients were mainly men eager to improve their yang, or virility. Women could benefit, too, she added, although she told the Telegraph's female photographer: "I wouldn't recommend the testicles. The testosterone might interfere in fertility. But many women say bian is good for the skin."

Some dishes appear unexceptional, such as the simple goat penis, sliced, dipped in flour, fried, and served skewered with soy sauce.

But Guolizhuang also has its showpieces, such as the elegantly named "Head crowned with a Jade Bracelet" (provided by horses from the western Muslim region of Xin-jiang), for £20 a portion, or "Dragon in the Flame of Desire" (yak, steamed whole, fried and flambéed) for £35.

For beginners, Miss Zhu recommended the hotpot, which offers a sampling of what the restaurant has to offer - six types of penis, and four of testicle, boiled in chicken stock by the waitress, Liu Yunyang, 22.

The Russian dog was first. It was julienned, and rather gamey.

The ox was, of all six, the most recognisable for what it was, even though it had been diced. In texture seemed identical to gristle.

The deer and the Mongolian goat were surprisingly similar: a little stringy, they had the appearance and feel of overcooked squid tentacles. The Xinjiang horse and the donkey, on the other hand, were quite different. Though both came sliced lengthwise, and looked like bacon, the horse was light and fatty, while the donkey had a firm colour and taste. The testicles were slightly crumbly, and tasted better with lashings of the sesame, soy and chilli dips thoughtfully provided.

One speciality, Canadian seal penis, costs a hefty £220, and requires ordering in advance. Miss Liu confessed that Guo-li-zhuang was an unusual place to work, partly because of her training - she has to recite tales proving the vigour of the animals in question as they are being eaten - and partly because of the interaction with the clientele. "I did find it embarrassing at first," she said. "And sometimes the customers take advantage of me by asking rude questions."

As for the supposed health benefits, Mr Liu, the most regular customer, was uncertain but hopeful. "I can't say I've noticed any difference yet," he said. "But it's a long-term thing."

Expensive and shameless - how the Chinese take pride in an exotic cuisine

26 Feb 06 06:30:00 GMT

Expensive and shameless - how the Chinese take pride in an exotic cuisine (Filed: 17/02/2006)

Chinese society is generally conservative, but food opens all doors shamelessly when it comes to showing off the newly acquired wealth of the rich and powerful.

Southern Chinese are said to eat anything that has legs except a table, anything that flies except an aeroplane, and anything that swims except a submarine.

The Queen has enjoyed the dubious fruits of this proud feature of Chinese culture. In 1986, on a state visit, she was served sea slugs at the Great Hall of the People in Beijing.

No expensive restaurant worth its name fails to offer shark's fin soup and abalone. Bird's nest soup - the regurgitated food from a swift's nest - is even more expensive.

Frogs are usually diced small, with their bones, and fried with chilli. Silkworm pupae are fried or boiled. Scorpions, locusts, and a whole variety of other insects are grilled. There is a taste for dog in Guangdong province, and for rat stew in Guangxi and Guizhou.

In many cases, restaurants, particularly the pricier variety, show off their delicacies in the window. The Daily Telegraph recently came face to face with a whole windowful of curiosities. They included three whole shark's fins, a bowl of sea cucumbers, several abalone, and four dried deer's penises.

The fad for exotic food came under scrutiny during the Sars crisis three years ago. The virus was carried by the civet cat, another wild animal eaten in southern China. Endangered species are among those consumed, though giant panda was, as far as is known, only hunted for its meat during the Great Famine of 1959-61.

A restaurant in northern China went too far last year, however, when it put tiger on the menu. A police investigation showed that the dish was donkey meat flavoured with tiger urine from a nearby zoo.